Leaving Limbo
On Wednesday I met with the specialist to review the results of my scans. Following his advice we have decided to go ahead with surgery in September which will aim to remove as much of the tumour as possible. Due to its location this comes with inherent risks which could lead to long-term impairment physically, sensory and visually. In an attempt to minimize these potential side effects the surgeon will be performing an awake craniotomy. If, like me, you are a Grey's Anatomy fan then you will know what this entails but as the name suggests - they plan to wake me up mid-surgery. In doing so they will ask me to perform certain tasks so they are able to remove as much of the tumour as possible without impacting the surrounding areas.As the reader I am sure you will find it a lot to digest. Major surgery... on your brain... whilst awake! Crazy hey?!So, how do I feel? In all honestly I feel very calm. After an hour long appointment with the surgeon where myself, the Funny Boy, Iceberg and Buggernuts asked many questions I left feeling strangely at ease. This is the most relaxed I have been since having the seizure and I think it is because knowledge is power! It's cliché but it is true! I hate life in limbo - the not knowing, impossible to plan, unable to see my future beyond the next few weeks is difficult. At least with this I now feel like I know what I am up against over the next few months.Many of you have already been in touch asking how you can help. So here are two things I need from all my family and friends..
I want to make full use of all my abilities whilst I can so over the next few weeks I want to do as many fun, active, outdoorsy things as possible. Particularly if they are things I have never tried before. I will be using my annual leave before surgery and hopefully making some trips - so, if you have any suggestions and would like to join in please let me know.
I want NEED you all to PROMISE me that if my motivation drops or changes when I come through surgery that you will remind me of how stubborn, determined and able I really am! You have full permission to kick me up the butt!
I am not one to dwell on things, I am looking forward and I would strongly encourage you do the same too. Before I draw this entry to close and head off to play hockey, I have a secret obsession with Winston Churchill - what a man, what a life! He has a wonderful way with words so I will finish with one of his many, famous quotes:
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts!
And as always, #FUCANCER!!!